“One with all the aunts” sounds clear until your photographer has to figure out who the aunts are. Add a relative who has gone to find a drink, and the next few minutes can disappear before anyone is ready for the picture.
You don’t need a complicated spreadsheet. You do need names, a meeting place and someone who can recognize the people on the list.
Start by asking your photographer how much time to set aside for family portraits. Then build the list together. Ten combinations with mostly the same people are different from ten combinations that require a new group to be found each time.
Here’s what a useful entry looks like
Using made-up names, a group might read:
**Couple + Maria, Luis, Elena and Sam — parents and siblings. Maria needs a chair. Elena stays for the next photo.**
The names help the person gathering everyone. The relationship gives the photographer context. The last two notes help with the order and setup. Keep sensitive family information in a separate, private message to the photographer rather than on the copy being passed around.
Think about the combinations that matter to both of you. Include chosen family or other important people by name rather than expecting someone to know they belong in a particular group. If there are people who shouldn’t be asked to pose together, tell your photographer before the wedding.
Who can help find everyone?
Choose someone who knows the relatives and is comfortable speaking up. With two families, a helper from each can be useful. Check that they’re willing, send them the list, and explain when you’ll need them. Try not to give that job to someone who is also collecting decorations or handling another task at the same time.
Ask your photographer to arrange the groups so people aren’t leaving and being called back. Mention anyone who may need to go first, including small children or relatives who can’t comfortably stand for long.
For your Stone Ridge wedding, confirm a specific gathering spot once you and the photographer know where portraits will happen. Tell the people on the list both the location and the time. “After the ceremony” is more helpful when it comes with “please go straight to this spot.”
A few days before the wedding, send one final copy to the photographer and your helpers. Save it on your phone as well. Then let your photographer work through it—you shouldn’t have to organize every group while you’re meant to be in the photographs.
